Hello! It’s Tuesday once again, which means it’s time for The Piper Block on datafruits.fm! Let’s see what we’ve got on the schedule tonight…
Talkie Time: The Screen Guild Theater - Arsenic And Old Lace / The Devil And Miss Jones
You know, every week there’s always a possibility that someone is tuning into my show for the first time. Maybe they like the comics I draw and decided to see what else I get up to, maybe they heard me yapping on Mastodon about the program, or maybe they’re just stumbling onto our fine radio station via Radio.Garden or Tunein.com or something.
So, for those of you fortunate enough to be here tonight, of all nights: hello! Welcome to what is quite possibly the most quintessentially Piper installment of the Piper Block to ever Piper. Because nothing says “this is some shit you would pull, yes” quite like “last week, I made a very oblong pop culture reference about a movie from the ’40s about poisoning motherfuckers while making a joke about how wanton violence is the funniest shit ever, and now for this week I’ve somehow managed to dig up an entire OTR script transcription for a radio adaptation of that exact film that stars Boris Karloff for some reason, and also another radio adaptation of a different movie from the ’40s about how unions are rad as hell”.
mmmmm nummy nummy appel juicce *fucking dies*
Anyways, Arsenic And Old Lace, by The Screen Guild Theater, originally airing on November 25, 1946. Script .pdf’s right here.. After that, we’ve got an adaptation of The Devil And Miss Jones for the radio dial, which originally aired on October 23, 1946.
Man, the only thing that could be more quintessentially Piper is if The Jazz Program somehow managed to involve old crooner records and Deep Space 9, and also somehow managed to squeeze in some trivia about old ’80s cop dramas.
…
Y’know, if I wasn’t nearly four years sober, I’d be telling you to hold my beer right now.
truly a galactic talent
The Jazz Program : James Darren…er, Vic Fontaine - This One’s From The Heart / Goodbye Cruel World, 1959-1962
The cool kids know him from Star Trek as the best holodeck host around on the coolest little depot in Bajoran space (despite what some of my comics industry peers’ objectively incorrect opinions may lead you to believe.) The cooler kids know him as Officer James Corrigan on TJ Hooker, which also starred Captain Kirk himself in the title role. But to at least some of the world, James Darren was one of South Philly’s brighest voices on both celluloid and vinyl.
Sadly, Darren passed away in 2024, but he left behind a massive legacy of both on-screen and on-record performances, and tonight we’ll be taking a look through his entire career. First off, we’ve got This One’s From The Heart, a compilation of re-recorded songs from Darren’s performances as holodeck lounge singer Vic Fontaine, released on Concord Records in 1999.
After that , we’ve got some selections from the 2014 retrospective Goodbye Cruel World- The First Four Albums 1959-1962, released on Jasmine Records and featuring 1959’s Album No. 1, 1961’s Gidget Goes Hawaiian - James Darren Sings The Movies, and 1962’s Sings For All Sizes and Love Amongst The Young, all of which released on the Columbia Pictures imprint Colpix Records (not to be confused with Columbia Records; Both Sides Now has a decent explainer here.)
Come fly with us here above Bajor tonight; whether you win or lose, at least you’re still in the game and we’re still on the air. Somehow. Honestly, I have no idea why they keep letting me do this.
aaaaaand that about covers this week’s show! Next week, we’ll be across the sea with the skipper, gettin’ real French and enigmatic with it.
(Can you guess what we’re playing next week from these clues? This one’s real fuckin’ obscure, but if you have a guess (the Jazz Program one might be a bit easier to nail) email me at piperbomb (at) protonmail (dot) com. If you can, I’ll give you a shoutout on-air!)
If you’re reading this the day of, and you can make it in tonight, you should come hang out in the chat with us on Datafruits! We’ve got a good crowd of folks in the chat every week, and whether you have a suggestion for a future show or just want to hang out and chat with fellow jazz enjoyers, you’re welcome here with us.
You’re all amazing and don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not. Stay safe out there, and I’ll see you back again next week. Same time, same station: on datafruits dot fm..
Footnotes…